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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26751391">fuck it, i love you (i really do)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/vanillaskin/pseuds/vanillaskin'>vanillaskin</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Centricide (Webseries)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Real World, Crying, Drinking, Drunken Confessions, Drunken Kissing, First Kiss, Fluff, Internalized Homophobia, Los Angeles, Love Confessions, M/M, Mentioned Ancom, Mentioned Demsoc, Moving In Together, Slow Burn</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 12:14:16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>9,922</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26751391</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/vanillaskin/pseuds/vanillaskin</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Something about the dynamic between the two rightists didn’t feel normal to Ancap. They were always close ever since they met 20 years ago, but they knew each other for less time than Ancap to everyone else, and yet, their friendship seemed so much more intimate and deeper than the others. It didn’t feel familial, but something different that Ancap couldn’t quite put his finger on. The long, extended hugs, the tension when they made eye contact, and the jittery feeling Ancap would get whenever Libertarian would walk into a room— he didn’t know how to describe it, but deep down, he knew it’s more than just platonic.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Libertarian/Ancap</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>37</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>fuck it, i love you (i really do)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>hi again</p><p>decided to make up how sad my last fic is</p><p>this is a repost because ao3 is a bitch and wouldn’t let this fic appear on the tags?</p><p>anyways this was based off of lana del reys fuck it i love you so give it a listen maybe </p><p>no betas we die like men</p><p>enjoy</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Don’t put that over there!” </p><p> </p><p>The midday sun bled through the window of the two bedroom apartment, casting shadows upon the ideologies inside. It’s a Friday afternoon in Los Angeles, with beaming hot weather from the orange Californian sun. Libertarian and Ancap had just moved states— New York to California, leaving behind most of the other extremists in the state they came from.</p><p> </p><p>The move was hectic— Ancap would often have nervous breakdowns while trying to bargain with landlords to try and bring the cost of their future apartment down, and Libertarian’s hoarding problem did <em>not </em>help at all. They still managed, though; the only reason they wanted to move in with each other of all people was because Ancap has this deep grudge against the New York Post, and Libertarian is <em>still </em>flattered by the Los Angeles Times article about his beliefs that was written over 13 years ago. </p><p> </p><p>Ancap used to live with Ancom, Nazi, and Commie back in New York City, and they weren’t particularly <em>horrible </em>roommates, they got along just fine— hell, Ancap would even consider them as family. He put off telling the others for a while, finding the idea of breaking the news to them emotionally draining. He found that he had to at some point, though, when he finalized a deal with the landlord. Telling the three went easier than the anarchist expected, and they simply decided to try and make Ancap’s last day living in New York worth it.</p><p> </p><p>It didn’t feel real. The responsibility of living on his own, away from the other extremists who had babied him and Libertarian throughout their 70 and 140 years  of living, didn’t feel like reality. It felt like a fever dream that Ancap would have guessed would’ve never happened, but it is, right here, right in front of him, right now. </p><p> </p><p>He’s officially on his own— with Libertarian.</p><p> </p><p>They’re alone together. </p><p> </p><p>“It’s a table, Ancap. Where else would you want me to put it?” Libertarian said, cocking his head smugly to the side as he looked back at an annoyed Ancap; who only had bad nerves from not eating in ten hours. </p><p> </p><p>“On the other side. That space is too crowded for a table.” Ancap uttered in a flat tone whilst taking smaller items out of a box that was labeled ‘MEMENTOS.’ </p><p> </p><p>“Hypothetically, if I put the table on that side-“</p><p> </p><p>“Cool it <em>Ben Shapiro, </em>I know what you’re gonna say, it’s blocking the door to the balcony. Guess what? You can just go around it.” Ancap felt a slight sense of guilt after he spoke, realizing what he had said seemed a bit overly rude as he saw the look on Libertarian’s face falter. He opened his mouth again to speak until-</p><p> </p><p>“Jeez, you didn’t have to go as low as the <em>Ben Shapiro</em>insult. I’ve realized that I’m starting to sound a bit like him, though. I should probably stop listening to him on the radio in the morning. Thanks for the advice, babe.” Ancap rolled his eyes at the nickname, but also couldn’t tell if Libertarian was being sarcastic or not with his words, but either way, Ancap couldn’t care less.They needed to focus on unpacking rather than platonic, childish bickering.</p><p> </p><p>“Don’t call me that.” Ancap muttered quietly, praying to God that Libertarian didn’t hear-</p><p> </p><p>“Oh, Ancap, light of my life, fire of my loins,” Ancap instinctively leaned forward as he felt the Libertarian come up behind him, wrapping his long arms around Ancap’s waist. He unconsciously melted into the touch,  despite trying to maintain being annoyed at Libertarian. Admittedly, Ancap could never stay annoyed at Libertarian for long- it was always his charm which made Ancap have a soft spot for him. He hated that.</p><p> </p><p>“I think you need something to eat. Your clothes are hung against your bones.” Libertarian rested his head between Ancap’s head and right shoulder, holding him close as Ancap sighed into his touch, sounding conflicted. Libetertarian could tell whenever Ancap was lost in his own thoughts just by the way his face scrunched up whenever he did so— which he found adorable. </p><p> </p><p>“I’m fine. I’m just nervous. I don’t think I’ve ever been this far away from the others before.” Ancap said quietly enough for only Libertarian to hear, acting as if there were other people in the room.</p><p> </p><p>“Just loosen up a bit, alright? You look like you’re about to blow a fuse. You’re young, you’re an anarchist. You have your whole life ahead of you. Think about the positives.” Libertarian’s words soothed Ancap a bit, feeling butterflies in his stomach as he felt Libertarian fidget with the hem of Ancap’s button up shirt. </p><p> </p><p>Something about the dynamic between the two rightists didn’t feel normal to Ancap. They were always close ever since they met 20 years ago, but they knew each other for less time than Ancap to everyone else, and yet, their friendship seemed so much more intimate and deeper than the others. It didn’t feel familial, but something different that Ancap couldn’t quite put his finger on. The long, extended hugs, the tension when they made eye contact, and the jittery feeling Ancap would get whenever Libertarian would walk into a room— he didn’t know how to describe it, but deep down, he knew it’s more than just platonic. </p><p> </p><p>“You’re speaking to me as if I’m not 70 years old. You know, to humans, I’m pretty fucking old.” Ancap teased, smiling as his body swayed in Libertarian’s hold. Libertarian let out a small laugh, making Ancap’s heart skip a beat. This felt more intimate than it should be.</p><p> </p><p>“You know, that’s the perks of being an ideology. We’re Gods amongst men. You’re fucking 70 and you don’t  even look a day past 25, and the others still treat you like a teenager.” Libertarian said quizzically, nuzzling his nose right beside Ancap’s ear.</p><p> </p><p> “I know. I hate it.” Ancap chuckled, raising his right hand to cup the side of Libertarian’s face, rubbing his thumb against the taller man’s cheekbone. </p><p> </p><p>There was a comfortable silence between them, holding one another close as they basked in one another’s body heat. It felt homoerotic, and Ancap was almost sure that Libertarian felt it too. The butterflies in Ancap’s stomach slowly turned into pits, though— realizing that the feelings that he was ever so slightly expressing for Libertarian reeked of degeneracy that Ancap couldn’t allow himself to feel. It was so much, too much-</p><p> </p><p>“I’m tired.” The anarchist stated, removing his palm from Libertarian’s face, and gently removing his hands away from his waist. He slipped away from between Libertarian and the granite counter, heading in the direction of one of the bedrooms in their new apartment. He felt embarrassed, embarrassed that he would even allow Libertarian to hold him like that, hold him like a <em>woman. </em>There was nothing wrong with being a woman, hell, Ancap is all for women's rights, but he hates the feeling of… <em>feeling </em>like one. It made him uncomfortable.</p><p> </p><p>“Okay, well, one, that’s my bedroom, yours is over there. Unless you’re trying to do something else, then I’m super into it,” Libertarian teased.</p><p> </p><p>“No.” Ancap spat, with a bit of aggression on his tongue as he turned around to look back at Libertarian, which Libertarian found adorable.</p><p> </p><p>“And, second, you’re not tired. I know you aren’t because you were pretty awake like, thirty minutes ago when you were yelling at me for dropping a framed picture you drew of your family when you were 8.”</p><p> </p><p>Ancap’s eyes widened.</p><p> </p><p>“It has emotional value? Rothbard, who is my <em>dad, </em>and Schumache, who is my <em>mother, </em>are <em>dead </em>. Did you forget? Or do you not care about that, either?” The tonal shift in the conversation was sudden, and it felt as if the light atmosphere had gone dark. Ancap’s eyebrows were furrowed, and Libertarian’s lips were parted as if he was about to say something, but nothing escaped them. Ancap rested his left hand against the counter, leaning as he stared at Libertarian intensely.</p><p> </p><p>“ <em>Shit- </em>Ancap, holy fuck, I’m so sorry.. it completely slipped my mind. I- I… I didn't mean to come off that way. That was really shitty of me to say. I’m so sorry.” Libertarian sounded sincere— which was actually quite rare for the ideology. The look of guilt that warped the Libertarian’s face made Ancap bite his lip in frustration.</p><p> </p><p>“Just- forget about it. It’s fine. I just have really bad nerves right now, I can’t.. I can’t do this.” Ancap was half lying; it wasn’t fine, but the only reason why he didn’t want to stay and keep muddling about it was because he would rather do <em>anything </em>else than be in the same room as Libertarian at the moment. He was too easy on his center libright counterpart, and his cognitive bias for forgiving Libertarian faster than other ideologies did not help at all in this situation.</p><p> </p><p>Ancap sighed, embarrassingly having to walk past Libertarian to go to his actual bedroom rather than the other’s. The tension was high and present, but it broke slightly as Libertarian made a swift maneuver to stop Ancap from entering his room. Ancap stepped back a bit, appalled at the motion of Libertarian going on one knee and lightly grabbing Ancap’s right hand.</p><p> </p><p>“Hey, hey. I know you’re upset, okay? I’m an asshole, the biggest one. The widest, gaping asshole you will ever see-“ Ancap could tell Libertarian was trying to lighten the situation, and he rolled his eyes.</p><p> </p><p>“Mmph.” </p><p> </p><p>“Sorry. Well.. I know what it’s like to have deceased parents, and, well, you know that. But that doesn’t really excuse what I said. You know me, I don’t think before I speak-“</p><p> </p><p>“Definitely.” </p><p> </p><p>“Yup, I know that.. very well, and I should’ve been a little more conscious of how you were feeling today. You know how you get when you’re anxious and nervous about things, you get a little.. cranky, and you kinda look like Oscar the Grouch,” </p><p> </p><p>“Shut up,” Ancap couldn’t hold back a small smile as he chuckled, silently hating himself because of how easily he can just fall and melt into the Libertarian’s words.</p><p> </p><p>“You know I’m right. But hey, now I know I need to be a little.. nicer with my jokes. Think before taking the jab. Am I right or am I right?” Libertarian smiled up at Ancap, who had an eyebrow raised as he looked down at Libertarian as if he was acting crazy. Ancap could just tell Libertarian was mouthing the words ‘please god forgive me,’ with his lips making Ancap chuckle despite the circumstances. </p><p> </p><p>“Fine.” Ancap sighed as he said it, slipping his hand away from Libertarian’s hold, walking back towards the counter. The tension was mostly resolved; and if it wasn’t for Libertarian’s smart mouth and way with words, Ancap was almost sure he would be screaming into a mattress right now.</p><p> </p><p>“Alright, well, I can still feel that slight capitalist tension all up in your core. What can I do to make it up for you?” Libertarian said, standing back up again and walking towards the dark gray, granite counter where Ancap stood.</p><p> </p><p>“You don’t have to do anything. You’re fine. Just.. sort out the smaller boxes.” Ancap stated, avoiding eye contact with Libertarian by staring out the window above where Libertarian had placed the table earlier. He was fidgeting with his nails, which he normally would never do unless he was nervous, which Libertarian noticed quickly.</p><p> </p><p>“Noo, no, no. No. I think.. we should have fun tonight. Make your first night in Los Angeles worth it.” Libertarian winked, and the sentence sounded very inappropriate without context, making Ancap’s eyebrows twitch for a second.</p><p> </p><p>“We don’t have time for partying,” He mumbled, making eye contact with Libertarian once again.</p><p> </p><p>“I would respectfully disagree. Come on, Ancap, would you rather drink your problems away with a few other ideologies or have a movie night with lil ol’ me?” Libertarian was too good at convincing Ancap, but Ancap wasn’t sure if it was just Libertarian or the fact that he absolutely <em>hates </em>seeing Libertarian disappointed.</p><p> </p><p>“What do you mean by other ideologies?” Ancap asked, unconsciously smirking because he knows damn well that all of the ideologies that lived in Los Angeles are <em>very </em>leftist.</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t know.. who lives in L.A.? Socialist? Anarcha-Feminist? Queer-Anarchist? ...Homofash? We’ll just invite them. It’ll be fun.” </p><p> </p><p>“Why would <em>they </em>want to hang out with <em>us </em>?” Ancap enunciated the ‘they,’ and the ‘us,’ to slightly tease Libertarian, whose face went slightly red as the question. </p><p> </p><p>“I think you underestimate how good I am at convincing people to do things for me.” Libertarian cocked his head to the side slightly, giving Ancap a smug look as Ancap laughed quietly.</p><p> </p><p>“Also.. why would Anarcha-Feminist and Queer-Anarchist want to hang out with Homofash? Don’t their ideologies clash too much?” Ancap asked, in a light tone as he grabbed the cookie jar from the counter and dragged it near him, taking the top off and grabbing a pastry from inside.</p><p> </p><p>Libertarian paused. “If you really think about it, it makes perfect sense why they would get along.” </p><p> </p><p>“Fair.”</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>Ancap didn’t know how, but Libertarian, <em>somehow, </em>convinced the other leftist ideologies to join him and Ancap to a drink that night. Libertarian is always good at arguing with no actual argument, and Ancap always wondered how he did it. He looked over Libertarian’s shoulder every once in awhile in the passing hours to 11PM, and it seemed as if he had made a group chat with the other four and was making up some bullshit that Ancap needed to loosen his screws and ‘wouldn’t it be hilarious to see Ancap drunk?’ Normally, he would take offense to this— but he was too stressed out at this point to care.</p><p> </p><p>The bar Libertarian has chosen was Tiki-Ti cocktail bar, which was known for their colorful lights and plentiful decorations. He made a joke sometime at Ancap that he’s gonna ‘match,’ (Ancap being one of the only, if not the only extremist that radiated multiple colors, that being yellow and purple.) He slapped him.</p><p> </p><p>Libertarian had also told Ancap to ‘be wary’ when joking around Queer-Anarchist and Anarcha-Feminist because they were on some <em>incredibly </em>thin ice with their friendship at the moment. In fact, Queer-Anarchist almost didn’t go because they didn’t want to make it awkward by fighting with Anarcha-Feminist;  but Libertarian still convinced them to go, though— because endless rounds of drinking ‘saves every friendship.’ </p><p> </p><p>The outside of the bar was colored a deep peach, the glass door was slightly tinted and the building, and instead of extending horizontally, it extended vertically; making it look smaller than it actually was on the outside. The smell of alcohol and cigarettes loomed in the air as the clock struck 11 PM, and the cement that the two rightists were standing on felt weirdly damp despite it not raining all day, or, if we’re talking about Los Angeles here… ever. Ancap felt calmer, more relaxed than usual— but he’s sure it was only because he’s excited to see the look on Anarcha-Feminist’s face when she realizes that Ancap doesn’t dress like a ‘evil capitalist’ anymore, because that’s more just Libertarian.</p><p> </p><p>“Are you sure you don’t want to leave your hat in the car? It might get stolen, babe.” Libertarian towered over Ancap as he stood in front of him, Ancap looking up at the Libertarian with big eyes. He’s wearing a boater hat, the brown ones made of straw that had thick  blue ribbon that lined it. It was a bit small, resting at an angle the top of Ancap’s head, near the back of his scalp. </p><p> </p><p>“Oh, no, I got it.” Ancap mutters, looking down a bit as he pulled out some extra ribbon that was attached to the side of the hat that wasn’t visible before. He bow-knotted it around his chin before looking back up at Libertarian. “See?” </p><p> </p><p>“You’re adorable.” Libertarian chuckled, admiring how cute Ancap looked— with his black, Wayfarer glasses that had a minimal prescription, and how his curly, dark brown hair fell against his forehead. He looked beautiful.</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, aren’t I the cutest?” Ancap teased, laughing as he raised his brow. Libertarian felt warm.</p><p> </p><p>“Alright, well, you ready?” Libertarian shifted his body a bit as he pointed to the tinted door with his thumb, and Ancap nodded lightly in response.</p><p> </p><p>They had stepped in to be greeted with an even stronger reek of alcohol that both of the rightists had grown to love over their decades of living. The neon lights illuminated each and every thing and person that was in the bar, nearly overpowering Libertarian’s light blue aura, and Ancap’s yellow and purple. Their was light music in the background, which was most likely <em>Aerosmith. </em>Street signs and posters decorated the walls and the roof, and the bar that stood before them had multitudes of drinks and two stressed bartenders. Libertarian’s eyes danced a bit around the room, searching for the group of other ideologies. He spotted them after looking around for a few seconds, the auras prevalent, making them stand out from the rest of the humans. </p><p> </p><p>“Speak of the devil.” Libertarian says loudly, wrapping his right arm around Ancap’s waist, pulling him close  to lead him to the round table the rest were sitting at. Ancap almost objected to Libertarian touching him like that, but he decided to just go with the flow.</p><p> </p><p>Ancap took a quick look at the ideologies that sat at the table before him, first noticing the Socialist, who had a dark red aura around him. Socialist is very pretty, he always is— sporting red roses in his curly brown hair, and a red button up with black jeans. He looked like if Ancom and Commie were to have a child. Anarcha-Feminist, or just Anfem, is one of the only female ideologies; she had a light pink aura around her, and she wore a black halter top with dark denim shorts. She has short, silvery hair that was in no way natural— not that Ancap really cared. Homofash looked almost identical to Nazi, with the only difference was that he had a neon pink aura rather than a light blue, and his uniform was.. very.. <em>unbuttoned. </em>On the contrary, Queer-Anarchist’s aura was a dark pink, and their dyed pink hair and eyebrows blended into it, washing their appearance out quite a bit for somebody who is so bold. They wore a pink tank top that matched their aura with black sweatpants, and a beaded necklace with piercings galore. They looked terrifying, but also so… heart- warming at the same time. </p><p> </p><p>“You know, I just want to preface this meeting by asking one thing,” Anfem inquired, with humor in her tone as she rested her left elbow on the table just as Ancap and Libertarian sat down. </p><p> </p><p>“And what’s that?” Libertarian sounded intrigued.</p><p> </p><p>“Why on Earth would you come to Los Angeles? What could Commie or Ancom possibly done to push you to the edge of where you would rather be here, where niche ideologies thrive? Like, a genuine question. This isn’t an attack at all.” Anfem sounded as if she was going to laugh throughout her statement, with Socialist looking awkward and Homofash looking like he was going to burst into tears of laughter.</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t think you want to know,” Libertarian was sharply interrupted.</p><p> </p><p>“Don’t even get me started.”</p><p> </p><p>“Jesus Christ, Ancap-“</p><p> </p><p>“What? What happened?” Queer-Anarchist chuckled, staring at Libertarian who held his head in his hands as Ancap looked like he was about to have a word vomit.</p><p> </p><p>“God, <em>fuck </em>the New York Post. They.. they made this article about me and my beliefs when I was 16. 16! They said I had no morals and there was nothing to take away from my beliefs, that I was just all show and no go, and my vision of a perfect society is flawed and filled with a disdain for the lower class. I mean, they mostly weren’t <em>wrong, </em>I’ve accepted that, but did they have to write that when I was still in high school? Pretty traumatic, in my opinion. My father was so fucking mad, he told me he was going to personally find the person who did it and beat the shit out of them in their own home. The only reason he didn’t was because I told him that would violate the NAP anyway, and that it’s no use.” Ancap spat out his explanation in a frustrated tone, often using hand motions to convey what he meant. Libertarian could care less, having heard this story many, and I mean <em>many, </em>times from Ancap before. The rest of the ideologies idly stared at him, with their lips parted in interest. </p><p> </p><p>“I think I’ve read that article before, actually. Cause’ when I was reading it, I was just thinking… Isn’t this boy 16?” Socialist said, leaning his head a bit to make eye contact with Ancap as they were the farthest away from one another. </p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, that was pretty strange.” Homofash added. </p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, exactly <em>! </em>I was a junior in high school, and I get it, you just hate what I believe in, but you could’ve at least waited until I was out of grad school. At least.” Ancap had slurred enunciation on his tongue, which normally happens to him when he gets too excited and passionate over something. Libertarian noticed this, and a small smile appeared on his face; which Ancap didn’t seem to notice.</p><p> </p><p>“Why didn’t you leave New York earlier then?” Queer-Anarchist asked, shifting a bit in their seat.</p><p> </p><p>“Well.. I promised myself that I would leave New York after I got out of grad school, but.. I may have gotten too attached to the ideologies there. I only left now because moving here has been on my mind for a while, and I didn’t want to wait another few decades.” Ancap calmed a bit, his eyes averting down as he spoke, trying to get his thoughts out and portray them well. He hadn’t seen Homofash, Socialist and Anarcha-Feminism in decades, and have never even met Queer-Anarchist before. </p><p> </p><p>“Aw, that’s sweet.” Anfem said, a small smile appearing on her lips. Ancap could say that him and Anfem get along; at least when they’re not talking about politics. </p><p> </p><p>“Well, Libertarian what made you wanna come here?” Socialist said, his voice soft as usual.</p><p> </p><p>“That’s the thing.. I wasn’t planning to come here, but, you know, Ancap cant survive on his own so <em>obviously </em>I had to come with him. Plus, the Los Angeles Times wrote a pretty flattering article about how I have pretty good views, so that drew me in as well.” Libertarian sounded like a smartass, and Ancap was doing everything he could to not kick Libertarian in the ankles right then and there. Libertarian noticed, turning his head to look at a flushed and embarrassed Ancap, and laughed to himself quietly. Anfem, Anqueer, and Homofash sort of picked up on the increasingly obvious romantic tension while Socialist remained oblivious. Anfem wanted to exploit this, though, and so did Anqueer— and they gave each other a smug look before saying,</p><p> </p><p>“Why don’t we play Never Have I Ever?” Anfem suggested, smugly smiling at Ancap and Libertarian, which Libertarian looked excited compared to Ancap’s nervousness. It wasn’t because he was a lightweight, (well, he is,) but more of the fact he hates embarrassing himself with people he doesn’t know that well. Libertarian kept him ground, though, bevause Libertarian noticed Ancap’s eyebrow twitch despite nodding. He squeezed his hand quickly, reassuring him.</p><p> </p><p>“You alright? Cause’ you don’t have to drink tonight if you don’t want to.” Libertarian said under his breath, turning to Ancap with a slightly concerned look on his face. He said this as Anqueer had maneuvered past the  Socialist to order everyone’s drinks, and it was assumed that everyone would pay them back after. Libertarian spoke softly, and that alone made Ancap’s stomach flip. It felt degenerate. Libertarian’s voice shouldn’t effect him like this. </p><p> </p><p>“I’m fine, I’m just scared I might do something embarrassing. I haven’t seen them in decades, so it’s a little… you know. You know how I get,” Ancap explained quietly, unknowing that Homofash eavesdropping on their conversation.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m sure you’ll be fine. Like I said babe, you need to loosen up a little bit. You’ve had this… twist on your face all day. Don’t get me wrong, it’s adorable, but I would much rather see you relaxed.” Libertarian said, his hand nearly brushing against Ancap’s thigh but almost immediately retracting towards his own— and it <em>definitely </em>didn’t go unnoticed.</p><p> </p><p>“Okay, just, promise me if I get a <em>bit </em>too drunk you’ll take me home, okay?” Ancap said with a bit of concern looming in his voice, as he rested his left hand on Libertarian’s shoulder before letting it slip off.</p><p> </p><p>“I promise.” Libertarian rose his eyebrows as he said it before diverting his attention away from Ancap, and towards Anqueer who had come back with two drinks in their hand.</p><p> </p><p>“For the couple.” Anqueer teased, placing the two drinks in front of Ancap and Libertarian. The glass was clear and fairly large for a bottle of alcohol, with neon LED lights inside the base of the cup, making the clear drink appear a dark shade of neon red. Ancap would imagine these are probably the cheapest drinks Anqueer could get, which is assumingly a few bucks. Ancap was more than happy to pay them back, though, which everyone would be after the end of the gathering. Anqueer had already left again to get four more drinks for the other three leftists and the singular facist as Anfem spoke again.</p><p> </p><p>“Can’t wait to see what kind of dirty laundry you two have repressed,” She teased, eyeing the glasses as if they were a medium rare filet mignon steak.</p><p> </p><p>“You rightists always pull the weirdest shit behind the scenes.” She smirked. The comment was lighthearted, but if put in a different tone, could’ve been an insult. Ancap and Libertarian didn’t take it that way, though— and just laughed.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m sure he would know.” Socialist smirked, eyeing down Homofash from across the table. Homofash blushed. Anfem broke out into hysterics. </p><p> </p><p>Anqueer came back holding two drinks and one of the bartenders came to the table holding two drinks as well, Anqueer handing the two drinks in their hands to Anfem and Homofash, and the bartender gave his to Socialist and Anqueer just as Anqueer sat down. </p><p> </p><p>“God, there’s so many of you… people now,” The bartender said in a humorous tone. He was most likely referring to the boom of new, niche ideologies that were born in the mid to late 20th century, and Ancap was  one of the results from that. </p><p> </p><p>“I know, we’re a plague.” Libertarian smirked as he shot back, and the bartender laughed in response.</p><p> </p><p>“You guys remind me of something, uh, a buncha guys and one lesbian.. what are you, <em>The Losers Club? </em>” The bartender joked, and the ideologies lauged quietly at first until they caught onto the literature reference— then laughed a little louder.</p><p> </p><p>The bartender wished them a nice night as he walked away, freeing the ideologies from the awkward tension of actually talking to a civilian. Normally, ideologies rarely interact with civilians because it  just seemed awkward, as the two “species” had nothing in common, and you never knew if that civilian’s views opposed you as a living and breathing ideology. </p><p> </p><p>“So,” Anfem had a devious look in her eyes.</p><p> </p><p>“Let’s try to start off… tame, and work our way up to the big guns. Let’s start with, uh, Socialist, and work out way around clockwise.” She explained, already fiddling with the filled glass in front of her, brightly illuminated a neon yellow. </p><p> </p><p>“Alright … never have I ever done intravenous drugs?” Socialist went directly against what Anfem said, which made her chuckle. Everyone drank.</p><p> </p><p>“Never have I ever wanted to fuck a civilian?” Anfem and Socialist drank.</p><p> </p><p>“Never have I ever met an extremely famous political figure?” Only Socialist drank. He felt unintentionally targeted.</p><p> </p><p>“Never have I ever hooked up with a woman?” Libertarian and Anfem drank, and Ancap hesitantly sipped. Anfem furrowed her eyebrows at Libertarian’s motion.</p><p> </p><p>“You’re such a liar,” Anfem accused harmlessly.</p><p> </p><p>“I dated a woman for five years <em>! </em>” Libertarian defended, causing Anfem to go into a state of shock for a few seconds.</p><p> </p><p>“Who?”</p><p> </p><p>“Demsoc.” Anfem’s jaw dropped.</p><p> </p><p>“I fucked the same girl you fucked!” Anfem said estatically, smiling at the coincidence. </p><p> </p><p>“I mean, gingers. They’re a curse.” Libertarian said lowly, and Ancap knew well that Libertarian and Demsoc had a very rough breakup— so he interrupted before Anfem could press on more.</p><p> </p><p>“Never have I ever fought in a war?” Socialist and Homofash drank. </p><p> </p><p>“Never have I ever had a small thing for Ancom?” Anqueer and Ancap drank. </p><p> </p><p>“Never have I ever slept with a man?” Homofash and Anqueer drank <em>fast. </em>Ancap almost drunk, but then realized the time he did… <em>that </em>with Ancom didn’t really count because qi is non-binary. </p><p> </p><p>“Never have I ever got high as balls off coke at a college party to the point you would actually, <em>willingly,  </em>hookup with Nazi in the bathroom and everyone could hear?” </p><p> </p><p>“Hey! No targeting <em>! </em>”</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>The game went on like that for a while, around 90 minutes— in which half of it some of the ideologies had to give out drawn out explanations to why they drank. Ancap had drank around three glasses by now, and he is for <em>sure </em>no longer sober anymore. Libertarian was relatively fine, only having drank one drink which barely affected him because of his extreme tolerance. Everyone else was pretty drunk— but not as bad as Ancap was, considering he’s a lightweight. Libertarian and Ancap had been on thin ice since Ancap finished his first drink, because when Ancap got very… honest and.. flirty when drunk. </p><p> </p><p>Ancap is in a drunken rant at the moment, as all the ideologies were laughing as he spoke about how Commie, Nazi, and Ancom called him a terrible person and how he cried about it for weeks. Libertarian bit his lip, not wanting to leave as he was enjoying himself, but he promised Ancap that he would take him home if he got too drunk; and Ancap was definitely, in a sober Ancap’s perspective, ready to go home. </p><p> </p><p>He felt Ancap’s hand brush against his again, and that’s when he took the opportunity to take hold of it, which caught the drunken anarchist off guard.</p><p> </p><p>“I think it’s time for us to head out,” Libertarian said a bit loudly, standing as he said it, slightly dragging Ancap up with him. </p><p> </p><p>“No, I wanna stay.” Ancap whined, looking up at Libertarian with red, glossy eyes. Libertarian hesitated, letting go of Ancap’s hand to fix the ribbon under his chin that held his hat in place as he spoke.</p><p> </p><p>“You know, a little yellow n’ purple birdie told me that I need to take you home when you’ve had too much to drink, and uh, I think you’ve had too much to drink, sweetheart.” He said, tying the dark blue ribbon tight against the underside of Ancap’s chin. The anarchist frowned.</p><p> </p><p>“You’re acting like we’re married or something. You're not my dad,” Ancap’s speech was slurred and hard to understand, but understandable enough for Anfem and Homofash to choke on their drinks as Ancap said it. Libertarian raised a brow, chuckling.</p><p> </p><p>“I think that sentence proves by itself that you’ve had too much to drink.” Libertarian says, quickly reaching into his back pocket to pull out his wallet. He pulled out around thirty dollars and handed it to Anqueer hastily before quickly taking hold of Ancap’s wrist. </p><p> </p><p>As they were walking out, Libertarian heard Anfem whistle behind them, quickly followed by Homofash and Anqueer. Libertarian chuckled as he heard them, lifting up his free hand as he slightly turned around as a wave of goodbye. Libertarian felt as if he was being a buzzkill— considering that Ancap looked <em>more </em>than disappointed. Normally, a drunken Ancap would be very demanding of his own needs and not comply with what someone tells him to do, but not this time. Libertarian wondered why.</p><p> </p><p>Just as they left the bar, the change in temperature helped Libertarian get slightly more sober, but for Ancap? He couldn’t tell, and even if it did do anything to affect him; it didn’t do much, as the anarchist could barely walk in a straight line. Libertarian planned on driving home, which he knew that Ancap would protest to, but they’ll live; Libertarian’s tolerance was so high that he could drink 6 vodka shots and be relatively unaffected. He’s an alcoholic in denial, like most of the ideologies were. </p><p> </p><p>“Hey <em>! </em>No drinking and driving.” Ancap scolded as they approached Libertarian’s car, which was an old, black Honda. Libertarian sucked in a breath as he sloppily took his keys out of his pocket, letting go of Ancap’s wrist, and unlocking the front doors of the car. The unlocked with a ‘click.’</p><p> </p><p>“We’ll be fine. And hey, even if we do crash, at least you’ll die in style, eh?” Libertarian tapped the part of his head which was parallel to where Ancap’s hat laid, which made Ancap laugh harder than it should have. Ancap maneuvered himself over to the passenger side, opening the door and plopping himself inside the vehicle with a ‘hmph.’ Libertarian waited for Ancap to be fully inside of the vehicle before stepping inside himself, and the hot, uncomfortable summer night air in the car made an awkward temperature shared between the two ideologies. Needless to say, Libertarian did not hesitate when he turned on the car to crank the A/C up to max. </p><p> </p><p>They drove in a somewhat-silence for around five minutes, with Ancap quietly singing a Mitski song under his breath. Libertarian took a quick look at Ancap, smiling a bit before looking back at the road. As long as Ancap is safe and happy, Libertarian is happy. </p><p> </p><p>Suddenly, he heard a click, a pop, and the feeling of a head on his shoulder.</p><p> </p><p>“Hi.” Libertarian looked down temporarily to see Ancap, who for some reason thought it was a good idea to pull back the cup holders, take his seat belt off, and lay his head on Libertarian’s shoulders. Libertarian sighed, slumping a bit to get used to the new position. He couldn’t bring himself to tell Ancap that he needed to go sit back into the passenger seat, with Ancap looking as beautiful as he did. His skin was slightly sweaty, but for some reason, it made him look even prettier; his big, bloodshot eyes looked up at Libertarian like an albino hedgehog. To anyone else, Ancap looked like a mess— but Libertarian loved that about the anarchist. He felt real. </p><p> </p><p>“Hi, Ancap. Are you doing alright down there?” He muttered, turning on the music in the car to whatever album he last played on his phone. Momentarily, Lana Del Rey’s <em>Ultraviolence </em>album played, and the psychedelic rock music filled the car. Ancap sighed as he heard the singer's voice, closing his eyes for a few minutes, not responding to what Libertarian had said.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>‘Being a mistress on the side, </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>It might not appeal to fools like you.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Creeping around on the side,</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Might not be something you would do.’</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Libertarian mumbled the lyrics as the song played through, while Ancap hummed. Their apartment wasn’t far now, only a few blocks away. Ancap let his left hand wander on Libertarian’s thigh, painting invisible masterpieces with his index finger. He had a headache. </p><p> </p><p>“I can read your mind. I know exactly what you’re thinking right now,” Ancap said, turning his head a bit to look back up at Libertarian again.</p><p> </p><p>“Alright, then what am I thinking?” Libertarian played along. He made a right turn off Manderley Drive.</p><p> </p><p>“You think I’m pretty, don’t you? You always call me ‘babe’ and ‘adorable’... it means you think I’m pretty, right?” Ancap lightly accused, watching as he could practically see Libertarian squirm in his seat. He glanced at the music playing before making short-lived eye contact with Ancap, saying-</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, the prettiest boy in the world.” Libertarian said quietly, saying it as if someone else was going to hear besides Ancap. Ancap’s face flushed from pink to a light red, his pursing his lips shut. The compliment made him feel more warm inside than he already was, though he could hear the pain in Libertarian’s voice.</p><p> </p><p>“Why do you sound so sad? I thought you were happy.” Ancap said, with a concerned undertone in his slurred, drunken voice.</p><p> </p><p>“Because I can’t tell you these things when you’re sober.” Libertarian said surprisingly calmly, as if he’s done this before. Ancap frowned, and he was going to press forward to ask ‘do you like me,’ but Libertarian had already parralel parked in the marked spaces on the outskirts of the parking lot outside their apartment. </p><p><br/>
<br/>
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<br/>
</p><p>“Your clothes are humongous.” Ancap said just as Libertarian pushed the old t-shirt over Ancap’s head, and Ancap put his arms through shortly after. They couldn’t find Ancap’s nightwear in their clothing box, which was a cotton yellow button up and pants. Libertarian was somewhat glad that he and Ancap couldn’t find it, because everytime he wore it Ancap looked like The Man In The Yellow Hat. Ancap now wore an old, large white t-shirt that hung over him like a short shirt-dress. It has the liberty penguin on it. Ancap is slightly more sober now, because earlier Libertarian helped him throw up, brush his teeth, and drink a shit ton of water. He was still drunk, though, drunk enough that he wasn’t able to dress himself on his own. </p><p> </p><p>“Thanks.” Libertarian said in reply, stepping away from Ancap to fix his bed’s crooked sheet. When Ancap was still stood there by the door frame, Libertarian’s brow furrowed in confusion. </p><p> </p><p>“Aren’t you going to go to your room?” He asked, stuttering on his own words. The sight of Ancap leaning against the door frame, wearing his shirt with one knee bent, holding his hat in his hands is ethereal. With only the moonlight illuminating him from an open window, Ancap pursed his lips before speaking.</p><p> </p><p>“I wanna sleep in your room.” His words were soft, gentle, and he sounded like he was tired. Libertarian let out a shaky sigh at the voice, the sight— he was convinced that he had never heard or seen someone so pretty. </p><p> </p><p>“Yeah.. yeah, sure.” Libertarian almost whispered as he said it, almost as if it was a dirty secret that no one else was allowed to hear. And honestly, it was; he never thought the day would come where he realized that Ancap may love him the same he loves Ancap.</p><p> </p><p>A drunken mind speaks a sober heart.</p><p> </p><p>Libertarian lightly sat in the middle of the bed, watching as Ancap walked over, practically collapsing onto the bed, exhausted and spent. He turned over onto his stomach to get closer to Libertarian, throwing his right arm over Libertarian’s chest, and put his head against Libertarian’s shoulder.</p><p> </p><p>“Can we cuddle?” He asked innocently, in the same tired, worn tone as before when he asked to sleep in the same room. Libertarian was floored as he felt Ancap wrap his body around him, holding Libertarian close as if he was going to disappear at any second.</p><p> </p><p>“Mhm.” Libertarian said, his mouth remaining closed as he wrapped his left arm around Ancap, and rested his right against his chest. His breath hitched as he felt Ancap throw his right leg over the other, landing on Libertarian’s leg. He was getting comfortable. </p><p> </p><p>Never in both of their lives were Libertarian and Ancap ever this physically close. It made Libertarian sweat a bit, and even though he knew Ancap wasn’t asleep yet, or trying to sleep; he still felt scared, that if he moved, he would disturb the smaller ideology. He basked in the closeness, his jaw quivering despite the temperature being considerably warm. </p><p> </p><p>For the past twenty years, ever since Libertarian had met Ancap, he had cared deeply for him. In almost every waking moment, Libertarian always had Ancap in the back of his mind, his memories, and his thoughts— everything he did, he did it for him. He would even buy him gifts regularly, and did everything he could to make him happy, hell, he even spent hours reading economic books, which Ancap loved, trying to find anything of substance, and even though he couldn’t have cared less he pretended he did— just to make Ancap happy. </p><p> </p><p>This never manifested as Libertarian realizing it was romantic love until he started dating Demsoc, a ginger woman who was quick witted, smart, and sociable. She was everything that Libertarian was supposed to want— good looks, a decent body, and an amazing personality, but when he dated her, he often found himself only thinking of Ancap, even when they kissed, or went further than that. It bothered Libertarian deeply, but he had the mindset that if he stayed with Demsoc, eventually this attraction to Ancap would go away. It <em>definitely </em>did not, all it did was make the idea of not being with Ancap the way he’s been with Demsoc absolutely <em>unbearable. </em>It went on like that for five years, from 2008 to 2013, and it was hard to part ways with the woman who helped him throughout his close uncle’s passing, but he forced himself to for the sake of his own sanity.</p><p> </p><p>He wanted to tell him. He always has, but he never found the confidence to do so. He was worried— worried that he might scare Ancap off into the night, running off as if he was off to the races and never to be seen again. He couldn’t have risked the chance, so he didn’t even take it, truly believing that nothing would ever come of the love he had for the anarchist. For years, he tried to accept it, repress it and give up on it but he couldn’t. The feelings he had bottled up inside him like a super volcano under the ground, bubbling and shaking and at any given moment could implode, sacrificing everything. </p><p> </p><p>Despite this, volcanoes seem to let out some steam every once in a while.</p><p> </p><p>“I think you’re the love of my life.” </p><p> </p><p>Libertarian confessed, his voice shaky as he said it. He would’ve never said it if Ancap was sober— but as Ancap was drunk, he would barely remember anything in the morning, and <em>god </em>did Libertarian need to get that out of his system. Ancap’s eyes widened, his breath hitching before looking up at Libertarian with his big, yellow and purple eyes that looked like they were gonna bulge out of his skull at what Libertarian said. </p><p> </p><p>“Am I really?” Ancap said, no longer tired, sounding  surprised and it seemed as if Libertarian had taken his breath away. Ancap shifted his body to where he wrapped both of his arms around Libertarian’s chest, holding him close as he maintained intense, loving eye contact with him. The drunken Ancap had no grasp on the situation that was going on, and his mind felt like it was going somewhere else but it was only Libertarian that kept him grounded and down to Earth.</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah… yeah, you are. You really are, Ancap.” He muttered, staring at the hung picture on the wall that Ancap had hung up on the wall earlier that day. It was taken back in the early 2000’s, on Libertarian’s 123rd birthday party. It depicted Libertarian blowing out the candles that had implanted the cake in front of him whilst Ancap was giving him a kiss on the cheek. Libertarian smiled a bit as he saw it, before staring back down at an intoxicated Ancap.</p><p> </p><p>“I thought you said Demsoc was the love of your life?” Ancap asked quietly, his curiosity making Libertarian blush. </p><p> </p><p>“Well, sometimes, people lie because they feel like they have to. I had to lie because I was scared that sober you may not love me in that way.” Libertarian said softly, pushing a hand through Ancap’s hair as he spoke. Ancap had a pit in his stomach as he heard what Libertarian said, unable to fully process it, muttering a truth under his breath as he saw Libertarian freeze.</p><p> </p><p>“Wait, what did you just say?”</p><p> </p><p>“I love you too.” Ancap confessed, a little louder this time as he saw Libertarian’s jaw quiver slightly. Libertarian was conflicted, his heart pounding as he heard Ancap say it in a way he has never heard before. He was almost sure it wasn’t platonic, or that it was the alcohol speaking— Ancap never told people that he loved them while drunk, hell, he’s twenty times more likely to confess that he hates you. Libertarian was completely speechless as he watched Ancap lift his head off his chest, and sit up on his knees, looking at him with a gaze he had never seen in Ancap before.</p><p> </p><p>“I really love you. You make me so happy, very.. happy. It’s stupid, and degenerate, but I don’t care anymore. I’ve loved you forever, I really do.” Ancap said it in a slurred, loving tone that made Libertarian melt. He was still unsure, he was in denial, actually; and his mind refused to even process what Ancap was confessing in this state. He chuckled lightly, his breath heavy as he stared at Ancap, completely transfixed at how his yellow and purple aura glowed and gleaned throughout the air, stronger than ever, and it almost seemed as if the purple were making intricate patterns in the yellow.</p><p> </p><p>He was so beautiful. </p><p> </p><p>“I’m not sure if I can, uh-“ Libertarian was briefly interrupted.</p><p> </p><p>“Please believe me,” Ancap said in a breathy, low voice as he shifted over to get closer to Libertarian, their faces almost touching as they stared into one another, their light blue, yellow, and purple auras nearly  mixing with one another at the intimacy.</p><p> </p><p>“Ancap-“</p><p> </p><p>The anarchist sealed the gap between the two rightists, kissing Libertarian softly. The smell of alcohol, toothpaste and vomit was still on his breath but god, Libertarian couldn’t have cared less as he quickly kissed back, lightly grasping at the back of Ancap’s neck, and Ancap let his hands rest on Libertarian’s cheeks. Their kiss wasn’t sloppy nor was it light, it was intimate, detailed, and careful— with occasional tongue as their lips moved with one another rather than against each other. Libertarian basked in the feeling, and it felt like fireworks in his psyche were blowing up, exploding one by one with every time Ancap applied more pressure. He’s wanted to do this for <em>so long, </em>and now that it’s finally here, it was better than he ever even imagined, but it was still unofficial.</p><p> </p><p>Ancap is still drunk.</p><p> </p><p>Libertarian pulled away, a small, short lived trail of saliva still connecting them until it disappeared into the air. Ancap looked at Libertarian with glossy eyes, and he was about to open his mouth again to speak but Libertarian interrupted him.</p><p> </p><p>“Let’s not do this right now, alright? You’re still drunk. I wanna talk about this when you’re sober, okay?” Libertarian said, bringing one of his hands to hold Ancap’s, cupping them in a comforting way to let Ancap know everything is going to be okay. Ancap let out a sigh of disappointment, biting his lips in the way Libertarian always thought was adorable before nodding, and slumping back down to lay in Libertarian’s arms.</p><p> </p><p>They shifted positions for just a second, both now laying on their sides hugging and holding one another close, their faces only mere inches away from each other. Ancap studied Libertarian’s face intensely, before saying,</p><p> </p><p>“I’m so happy.”</p><p> </p><p>“Why? Because we kissed?” Libertarian smiled slightly with his words.</p><p> </p><p>“No, because you shaved.” </p><p> </p><p>“What? You have something against mustaches or something?” Libertarian teased, lightly chuckling as he shifted in a way that would draw him and Ancap closer.</p><p> </p><p>Ancap was asleep before he could even dare to respond.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>The morning after was nothing short of endearing.</p><p> </p><p>Ancap tiredly woke up in a hot sweat, slightly  uncomfortable as the sheets that wrapped around him felt so damp from sheer sweat and body heat. He should’ve expected this— it’s summer solstice, and they lived in Los Angeles; hot is now the new normal. He knew he had drunk copious amounts of alcohol, at least for his tolerance, the night before, but didn’t feel quite hungover because he had slept for slightly over 11 hours and it was now noontime according to the silver digital clock in front of him. He only felt slightly woozy and a little bit lightheaded, and to be frank, he had only noticed the tight grip Libertarian had around his waist when he tried to slip out of bed. Hell, he didn’t even realize he was in Libertarian’s <em>room. </em></p><p> </p><p>A heavy weight dropped onto Ancap’s heart, nervous about what he had have possibly done the night before. Did they do anything sexual? Was is it consensual? Did Ancap come onto him, or did Libertarian come onto Ancap? These thoughts riddled in his mind as he stared at his clothes, neatly folded on top of Libertarian’s dresser. Ancap gulped, looking down upon himself to notice he was wearing one of Libertarian’s shirts. Embarrassingly, Ancap looked behind him to see Libertarian still sound asleep before using his free hands to lift the rightist’s shirt up to his nose, sniffing it. Ancap hummed— it still smelled like Libertarian over the slight smell of sweat. Ancap bit his lip, relishing in two things; one, that he wasn’t sore… down <em>there, </em>therefore nothing most likely happened the night before, and two, that Libertarian was cuddling him in his sleep, he found it cute.</p><p> </p><p>He only let this position stay for a few more moments, though, lightly prying Libertarian’s hands off of his waist, sighing at the loss. He attempted to sit himself up so he could get ready for the day, but was thwarted.</p><p> </p><p>“Where do you think you’re going?” Libertarian said in a raspy, teasing, post-awakening voice as he loosely put a hand on Ancap’s shoulder. </p><p> </p><p>“I’m <em>trying </em>to go get ready.” Ancap said in a bratty, annoyed tone that made Libertarian roll his eyes and laugh. Ancap attempted to stand up once again, but a firm grip quickly held onto his left wrist, keeping him in place.</p><p> </p><p>“Uh-uh. No you don’t, mister. We’re gonna talk about last night. Right here, right now. I don’t want to wait.” Libertarian said, in a slightly serious tone that reminded Ancap of his freshman bio teacher. His stomach went flat, unsure of what to say as he froze up. He knew this was going to be awkward— as he has no recollection of last night in the slightest and Libertarian sounds like he could write a whole novel on the topic. </p><p> </p><p>“Oh, um… yeah, okay. I should just let you know, uh, I don’t remember anything, like, at all.” Ancap said, sitting on the edge of the bed before lifting his feet and legs again to fully sit against a pillow.</p><p> </p><p>“I knew you would say that. You were pretty fucked up last night.” Libertarian said, slightly smirking with his words as he unconsciously played with Ancap’s fingers. His aura flashed slightly. Something is <em>up.</em></p><p> </p><p>“What happened?” Ancap said, barely even whispering as he tried his best to keep eye contact with Libertarian, but <em>god, </em>it was so painfully awkward.</p><p> </p><p>“Well, to put it simply, I told you some things that have been on my mind for a while, and you, uh… validated those feelings. Almost made me cry, actually. Reminded me of a Shakespearean sonnet. We were like Hermia and Lysander, <em>A Midsummer Night’s Dream. </em>” It was quite obvious that Libertarian was dashing and dancing around the main point, trying to distract Ancap with pop culture references he knew damn well Ancap would get. It didn’t work.</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t understand.” Ancap mumbled, looking down at the hand Libertarian was messing with before looking back to him. </p><p> </p><p>“I’m not sure if you would want to hear this, because, uh, what you did… I wasn’t sure if it was actually <em>you, </em>or just the drinking talking.” Libertarian said, still avoiding the point. Ancap bit his lip again, sucking in a breath as he said-</p><p> </p><p>“Liber-“</p><p> </p><p>“You know you kissed me last night, right?”</p><p> </p><p>“What?”</p><p> </p><p>It felt like Ancap’s soul left his body as Libertarian said it, waves crashing and screaming in his mind as he felt the tears jerk into existence inside his waterline. He was shocked, embarrassed, and mad at himself— mad that his drunken self lacked the self control to hide one of his own darkest secrets, and god, there was a 50/50 chance that Libertarian was either going to end their friendship entirely right now or straight up try to have sex with him, and he is not up for neither in the emotional state he was in at the moment.</p><p> </p><p>“Wait, wait, Ancap, babe, no, no no no no, don’t worry, you’re okay, it’s okay.” Ancap must have not realized that tears were already falling from his face, with Libertarian lightly taking hold of his face and wiping the tears away with his thumb, slightly hesitating before leaning in only slightly to kiss the top of Ancap’s  forehead, sending shivers down the Anarchist’s spine.</p><p> </p><p>“Please, <em>please </em>don’t hate me.” Ancap sobbed out, his voice breaking as he said it, almost bringing his hands to his face before being stopped by Libertarian, who used his hands to point Ancap’s chin up so they could make eye contact. </p><p> </p><p>“Ancap, I don’t hate you, hell, it’s the fucking opposite, alright, I was only confronting you because I wanted to see if these feelings for me were real, I wanted to see because I feel the same way for you, and… and, I was only scared it was just the liquor talking, and.. I… please, please don’t cry.” Libertarian comforted him, bringing Ancap closer to him to hold the anarchist in his arms, soothing him as he lightly rubbed his face, rubbing his tears away.</p><p> </p><p>“Do you really love me?” Ancap asked, his voice shaky as he said it, looking up at Libertarian with tears running down his pink, flushed cheeks. Libertarian nearly melted at how Ancap said it, a shaky, unsure smile appearing on his face— nearly ready to cry himself.</p><p> </p><p>“Of course I do,” Libertarian said, beaming down at Ancap, who looked as if he was in the brink of an emotional euphoria. Ancap was nearly speechless, unable to process what was happening at the moment. Normally, even the slight thought of this incident ever occurring seemed stupid and degenerate, but <em>god, </em>right here, right now… he couldn’t care less. </p><p> </p><p>“I want to kiss you again, is that okay?” Libertarian asked, running his hand through Ancap’s wild curls that remained in brushed from last night. Ancap looked up at Libertarian desperately, frantically nodding his head yes as if there was no tommorow. Libertarian snuck a glance at Ancap’s lips before they connected, starting off light but giving more pressure as time gave on.</p><p> </p><p>Each time their lips moved against each other, Ancap felt like it was killing him slowly, the pure thrill, want, need and desire filled the air as Ancap could feel Libertarian’s quiet tears collide with his own. This didn’t feel real, it felt as if they were fictional, that someone was going to wake Ancap up and ask him why he was crying in his sleep. It was so hard to accept that this was so very, <em>very </em>real, and that nothing is ever going to be the same. It was intimate, and now official, real and raw as they felt like they were exchanging emotions with one another, two worlds beautifully colliding into one. A real-life poem flashing before their eyes as their yellow, purple, and light blue auras melded against one another, creating a beautiful light show for anybody who could even possibly be watching. </p><p> </p><p>They stayed like that for a few minutes before both collapsing onto the bed below them, laying on their sides as they held each other’s face and body. Libertarian slowly but surely attempted to move his body on top of Ancap’s, resting on his right elbow. He was going to ask if they could go further or not, and honestly, what ever Ancap’s answer could be, Libertarian wouldn’t mind— just kissing Ancap is enough already.</p><p> </p><p>But as Libertarian pulled away to ask, he didn’t get a chance to speak.</p><p> </p><p>Ancap burst into sobs.</p><p> </p><p>Loud, hysterical cries that most people would probably assume are from a woman, or <em>Ancom, </em>ruptured out of Ancap like a siren. Libertarian softened, immediately bringing his left hand to cup Ancap’s face as he tried to soothe him with his words.</p><p> </p><p>“Ancap, Ancap, babe, what’s wrong? I’m here, I’m right here.” Libertarian said with a soft voice, as he witnessed Ancap breathing heavily, trying to get something, anything out inbetween sobs but was having hard time. Libertarian <em>hated </em>seeing Ancap like this, and to be fair, it was most likely just from the emotional intensity that this morning held.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m scared, I’m so scared. I don’t want to ruin what we have. I love you so much, I don’t want you to ever leave me.” Ancap cried out, worrying that if Libertarian and him were to ever split as partners, their friendship would be over, gone with the wind and only a faint memory of yesterday. He needed reassurance, and that was what Libertarian was going to give him, whether he liked it or not.</p><p> </p><p>“I’ve loved you ever since I met you, Ancap, I really do, I really fucking do. Why did you think I was always so nice to you over the past twenty years and couldn’t give less of a shit over anyone else? Why do you think I broke up with Demsoc? I broke up with Demsoc because I only wanted you, Ancap, only you. The thought of never being with you is unbearable. And, and— I only moved to Los Angeles not because of some stupid L.A. Times article from 13 years ago, I moved because I didn’t want to lose you. I never want to let you go. I’ve never loved anyone in the way that I love you.” Libertarian’s words were slurred and teary as water droplets fell from his eyes as he said his vulnerable confession of love, watching as Ancap sniffled as his sobs went quiet. Ancap had a wavers smile, looking up at Libertarian who looked like he could fall apart at any moment. He looked beautiful.</p><p> </p><p>“You really mean it?” </p><p> </p><p>“Of course I do, babe, I…” Libertarian cut himself off as he swooped back down to kiss Ancap, both of them smiling against the sloppy kiss, and just as Libertarian was about to deepen it again, Ancap pulled him off with a pop.</p><p> </p><p>“What’s wrong?” </p><p> </p><p>“I’m hungry.”</p><p> </p><p>“For what?” Libertarian teased, winking as he said it with a weird tone. Ancap <em>still </em>had the nerve to roll his eyes, even in the state he’s in at the moment.</p><p> </p><p>“Breakfast, you himbo.” Ancap said, smacking Libertarian’s chest in a playful manner as he laughed.</p><p> </p><p>“I got you, babe.” </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>r they married in canon... jreg u rnt making it clear</p><p>also the whole demsoc and libertarian thing is a gag on aoc and ben shapiro if u didn’t get the joke</p><p>tell me if it sucked.</p><p>twitter : anarchobeck</p></blockquote></div></div>
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